Another month of starting over

So here I am on CD 3, my last cycle was 93 days, and it took Provera to even start this time. I think It's hard to realize that your body can't do something so simple, something so easy for other women, for a normal woman. It's hard to realize that you're not normal, something is wrong with you, and you can't fix it. It's hard to start over again, this cycle was a tease for me, I got a positive OPK for the first time, and yet nothing, almost 60 days later i'm not pregnant and I didn't actually ovulate and your having needles poked into you to find out the reason again, then your given hormones to make the hormones you already have worse. You spend 7 days feeling like you dont know if you wanna cry or scream then you wait. You wait for AF to come, and the cramps, because oh boy the cramps are killer this time. Now you wait for it to end, gosh i'm doing alot of waiting. Then you spend the next month doing everything again, hoping you ovulated, hoping you BD'd in time, hoping AF doesn't come, and when she doesn't psyching yourself up because you think this is the month....then finding out its not, AGAIN. So i'm sitting here on my bed, with my cat curled up at my feet, and hubby laying next to me, and I just wanna cry. I know hormones have taken over at this point, but i can't stop it, I wonder if I'm ever going to be a mom. I woke up to another pregnancy announcement. Someone younger than me, someone not married in an on again off again relationship, and I have to tell myself, It's ok, It's her time, mine will come. But I doubt even myself saying that...because really, I can't convince myself this time. So i'm going to sit here, with my heating pad, and try to make these cramps go away, and tell myself that all of this pain will be worth it one day, and try to convince myself that It's not a lie....hopefully It's not a lie...